Screwing in Lightbulbs

At the Glen Phillips show on Thursday (which I'm working on a review of), he told two jokes which I think are worth spreading around. Both are of the "how many (fill in the blank)s does it take to screw in a lightbulb?" variety.

First: How many Microsoft executives does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Ans: None, you just have to redefine darkness as the new industry standard.

Next: How many Republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Ans: It isn't dark, and why do you hate America?