From today's American Progress Report:
Devastated by Hurricane Katrina, St. Bernard Parish is turning to the man who provided them no help during the hurricane: former FEMA director Michael Brown. "I'll talk to the devil himself if I thought he could help us," said parish president Henry "Junior" Rodriguez, who may hire Brown as a consultant.
And finally: "Italy's most famous porn star" Cicciolina has "offered herself" to Osama Bin Laden. "I am ready to make a deal, he can have me in exchange for an end to his tyranny," she said at an "erotic fair." "My breasts have only ever helped people while Bin Laden has killed thousands of innocent victims."