I'm a lifelong reader. I began reading while still in preschool (my father puffs with pride when he tells people I read to my own preschool class), and as far back as I can remember I've always been in the middle of a book. As soon as I finish one, I choose my next victim. I've always got a book on my nightstand. Always.
It's not that anything has changed, at least not on the surface. I'm definitely in the middle of a book (I'm actually in the middle of two, as I brought a different book on vacation last month than was on my nightstand - the nightstand book's a hardcover, and I don't like to travel with those). I've absolutely got a book on my nightstand, and I've had one there for every night in my memory.
So what's different? The book on my nightstand has been there since at least January, I think, and it's not a long book. What's different is that I haven't been reading.
I used to read a few pages every night before turning off the light - and I can't even remember the last time I did that. I used to read during down-time on trips - now I mess with photographs or write trip notes on the laptop. I cannot remember the last book I even finished.
My rationalizing includes that I'm busy with three jobs and personal and professional obligations, and I'm just freaking exhausted when I crawl into bed at night - so that even reading a few pages is a futile effort, since I'll forget it all anyway and have to re-read it later. And while there's some very real truth to all of that, I'm kind of wondering if something more is going on. Am I just not enthusiastic about the book I've had on the nightstand? That's possible. Have I lost interest in reading? Also possible, though somehow I think that's less likely. (I still like reading blogs and news online, for instance, so I can't be totally fed up with reading, can I?)
Anyway, I'm not that far from the end of the nightstand book, though I've been at this point in the book for months. If I can get through this book and pick up a real page-turner, maybe I'll get past this. We'll see.
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